Why do I fail?

Why do i fail? Why? Cant I just make a stand of what I have promise God?
Cant I just fulfill my own promise? Cant I just do what I know is right instead of falling to trap?
Why? Why cant I make it clear when Im about to fall?
Why is me who push myself into the trap? Gosh.....why??

I hate..when i come to realize...I hate why I cant make myself bit conscious when I'm about to fall?
God has put lot effort in pulling me up and holding me tight.....He urge me and call me back.....
But....why cant I listen and obey Him? Sturborn child i am......Im the murderer of my own faith, Im the one who break the relationship btw me and Him...who can i blame?
NO ONE....
After all, is me who make the decision..

I really need to make a stand to pull myself up and move forward...
And stop dwelling in that mud.