The Chain of Freedom

For the past 1 month, I have experience alot of things. It all started as i taken up the president post for my CF. The thoughts of "Who am i?" , "I am not good enough" , "there are people who could do better job than me" , "for the past 1 year, i am never a good leader" and etc.... has comes in to my mind.

All these questions has gave me alot of pressure and it hits my confidence real hard. I always thought that people will look down on me & think that I am such a bad leader.

But is perseverance that pull me through this time until RE:Union came. For the past 1 month, I have kept praying, "God where are U? Why i cant hear from U and why are U not helping me out? "

Re:Union came...

Campus Revo break up session

Pastor Dave shared about Campus Revo & asked us to break up to 2 (with people u dont know) to pray and listen what God wanna say to that person. But i said, God are U serious?! I cant even hear from U for my situation.... and i also not sure is it U who speaking or myself?

But, i went... cause another part of me, I really wanna try can I really hear from God. So i met this girl & she is a new Christian. I intro myself and I listen to God.

God told me alot of things about her, but i just dare not trust & i am so not convicted that it is from God. I was thinking "God if is not U how? If this is not what she needed to hear.......I will even lose more confidence .. I cant" But God say "Go Fee Vien, just tell her what I told u"

**This is the moment my life has its first turning point**

I choose to be courageous & just say it out.. while saying i also felt no conviction.. As if its just only words... When I finish saying, I open up my eyes... I saw the girl crying & she just said, "What you say is ALL for me..Is so true! " From here onwards, I know God has been speaking to me all these while, is just that i doubted & dare not trust.. but today, God has proven to me that I CAN HEAR HIM & HE IS ALWAYS SPEAKING TO ME

3rd Night of Re:UNION P.A.R.T.Y

(This night, just like the Bible, people with asthma got healed on the spot, people with old injury got healed, people find their new hope...and more miracles has happen!)

This night I was very pressured again...... I dare not even look at people in their eyes due to the low confidence in me. I felt like i need to run away & be alone at 1 moment... I really wanna hide from the crowd.

I keep convince myself .... but it doesnt last long, the pressure still hit me hard after awhile.

Till Pastor Kenneth went up to stage & He speaks bout HOPE. God suddenly REMINDED me the vision He has given me awhile ago.

Guess whats the vision?!

- I saw myself standing at the stage with billion people & preaching my heart out. People just running out to altar call & slain by Holy Spirit even before i touch them -

It was just mind blowing! Again, God who am I ?!

**Not about who are you, but WHO I AM**

When Pastor ask us to go out & be prayed for, I went & i got slain. As I wake up, a girl church leader came to me & say this that has totally .... BLOW OFF MY MIND!

(This leader dont really know me, we just know each another name. & i know she totally have no idea about my CF)

"Fee Vien, as I prayed for you, i sense that u are taking something in ur CF. God just tell you to be bold & courageous. You might worry about how people look at you, but keep moving forward! Say Yes to God when you DON'T know, because only in ur weakness, God's strength is shown"

Can you now see how real is God, Jesus?! Can you see how good is Him?!

He knows all my worries, He knows....but He delay in confirming what He plan so that I could learn to be tougher during the process.

I cry like mad & truly the enemy plan on me has defeated during that moment. All my fears & low self esteem is strip off at that moment!

satan can be powerful, but definitely not when JESUS IS LIFTED HIGH

I wanna let you know that, I will never give up & press on till I see Jesus promise come true, i have decided to be chain by the Lord & never left Him. Because nothing of the world will give me such hope, happiness, gladness & peace! No way.... but only in Jesus, i find the real peace & happiness from my heart.... CHAIN OF FREEDOM!